Z

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
wizardshark
silverskulltula

listen hobbit pussy could be mediocre (doubtful) but even if it was it's still followed by a 17 course homecooked meal and the kind of weed that would make sauron scared. lithe beautiful immortal elven pussy has no power compared to the simple, hardworking hobbit. and it goes without saying that you cannot handle dwarven pussy.

fieldbears

Every time I see some deep cut Tolkien post on Tumblr I think back to how Stephen Colbert basically admitted to having an account and said we'd never find him. And depending on the nature and quality of the post I am looking at, I will hope that that is Mr. Colbert. Anyway this is a 12/10

spacelazarwolf
em3rg3ncy-backup-deactivated202

I think people need to get better at saying “maybe, maybe not” or “do I really need an answer?” when faced with uncertainty. this is something that gets taught to people with OCD, but I think the masses would benefit

“what kind of attraction am I feeling?” would it be the end of the world if that question didn’t have an answer?

“am I allowed to identify as x when I’m not sure if it applies to me?” maybe! who cares!

literally. you can apply the “fuck around and find out” method to anything

continuously feeling the need to hunt for answers is going to eat you up inside. take it from me. your life gets so much easier when you let yourself be unsure

spacelazarwolf
biggaybunny

Pronouns? Yeah I gots all the pronouns you could want. Bootleg? No, no, you've got it all wrong. They just, uh, fell off the back of a truck. Now, can I interest you in a she/sher? Or how about a nice he/hee? That one's gonna get real popular, lemme tell you what. What? I'm telling you, these are genuine articles of speech. Look kid, I don't normally do this, but you buy a set of, uh, lemme see... not those... you/youse, I'll throw in another pair free. I dunno, for your dog or something. You ever think about your dog's pronouns? I thought not. Cash only.

trupowieszcz

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dat-soldier
marzipanandminutiae

“you don’t like the proliferation of terms like Unalive outside of TikTok because you realize that you’re aging out of youth culture and it makes you uncomfortable!”

no I don’t like it because there’s something INCREDIBLY dystopian about being forced to soften terms for basic parts of the human experience like death and sex (and even more so terms for oppressed minorities- call me a “le-dollar sign-bian” and I will bite you) purely because advertisers and corporations demand it

stripedroseandsketchpads

The idea that young people are getting used to not being able to speak in public about sex, queerness etc without talking around censors, and see this as normal and not a problem, scares me tbh.

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spacelazarwolf
outpastthemoat

personally i think there should have been at least one episode where sokka collects aang and zuko and is like, “looks like we’re running low on supplies.  time for a GUYS-ONLY field trip.  three days of hunting and fishing and polishing our swords.  y’know, manly warrior stuff.  (aang, sotto voce: actually sokka i’m a vegetarian as you know–)  you girls have fun sitting around braiding your hair and talking about your crushesand then the entire episode is just zuko and sokka lying around by a river, plucking blades of grass and staring up at the stars confiding in each other their deepest feelings and most secret insecurities while aang braids flower crowns, and whenever the screen cuts back to katara and toph and suki, they’re fighting and screaming and hacking away at river pirates and evil spirits and legions of assassins and hired mercenaries with swords.  you know, as girls do.

and when the boys finally drag themselves back to camp (they stayed up way too late discussing what true leadership really means and whether or not power always corrupts)  they find suki and toph and katara lounging around with black eyes and fresh bruises and bloodstained weapons and sokka shrieks, “what were you guys DOING while we were gone???”  and karata just shugs innocently and says in her sweetest voice, “oh, you know.  just girly things”

outpastthemoat

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they are absolutely still wearing the crowns and they don’t have a single fish to show for their efforts

eclectic-sunflower
wlwriot

Today I called a girl homophobic as a joke and she almost started crying

wlwriot

She said “my neighbors are a lesbian couple! I’m the least homophobic person you’ll ever meet”

wlwriot

I said “Kelsea I’m really sorry I hurt your feelings but I need you to know that homophobic people can have lesbian neighbors” and she just got even more distraught and said “I’ve been inside their house and I wasn’t even afraid or anything”


AFRAID OF WHAT??

boopednose

She entered the Home of Phobia and wasn’t even scared

leseigneurdufeu
tallahasseemp3

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This is just The Magnus Institute.

marzipanandminutiae

Nope.

They have a gas-based firefighting system instead of sprinklers for obvious reasons. It does lower the percentage of oxygen in the building, but not enough to kill anyone.

I found this by googling “Yale library fire oxygen.” It was literally the first result.

Fact-checking is your friend.

crazyintheeast

It’s true. It’s not the fire suppression system that kills you. The Librarians come and personally murder you for starting a fire in a library. But you didn’t start a fire you say? No matter. You are collateral damage. Everybody gets killed to show that arsonists have no chance of escaping justice

brunhiddensmusings

an orangutan traveling at non-euclidean speeds erupts from the aether to clothesline you into another dimension

thefrysh

god im trying so hard to decipher that last addition and im coming up empty

peggedpirate

what’s not clicking

greenreticule

#you learn about the non-euclidian orangutan in semester 1 of an mlis - @cappurrccino

wearelibrarian

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javert-emeraude

for anyone wondering the orangutan librarian is a terry pratchett reference.